BUCHAREST VAMPIRE CONVENTION FACES HARS CRITICISM: “IT SUCKS”

                ROMANIA – Complaints have filed in from Romania’s capital of Bucharest concerning the decision to host a vampire convention at the Face Convention Center.  Some have even gone as far as to state that Suck Fest was aptly named, because it “sucks.”  Why would a vampire convention be hosted in Bucharest in the first place? 

                Just over 80km away (or 49 extra-large freedom units) sits Bran Castle, a fortress built by the Saxons in 1377 and former home of the King Sucker himself, Vlad III the Impaler.  Vlad is often considered the original inspiration for Dracula, the Bram Stoker novel famous for inspiring the Twilight Saga.

                Unfortunately the Archduke of Austria denied Suck Fest the permissions needed to host the con at Bran Castle, so the vampires needed to make due with a convention center nearby.

                Complaints over the noise and the amount of extra pasty people, as well as the stale smell of old iron caused several citizens to speak up.

                “I wish they would go suck somewhere else,” one old geezer stated, which was not nice at all.

                The convention boasts a welcoming environment for vampires and vampire enthusiasts alike, a perfect recipe for…something.  Yet despite this setup for success, negative ratings are threatening to shut the whole thing down.  Simply put, visitors and other non-vampiric convention-goers say that this convention sucks.  However, the vampires say sucking is a good thing.  Suck on suckers, they say undeterred.