About
Tomorrow Daily Press has been dedicated to bringing the highest quality of news reporting to your eyeballs for the better part of a decade. Tomorrow originally started under our elusive head editor back in 2016, with two small tabloid-sized issues. Issues are what we call editions of small publications, we don’t mean to say “problems,” when we say “issues.” We are very grammatically intentional. Henceforth, when your moist eyeballs perceive the word “issues” in any of our media, please mentally prescribe it the definition of “editions of small publications,” unless otherwise noted.
Tomorrow fruitfully continued for years after for the benefit of dedicated readers. Each day a reader’s life is probably saved simply due to the existence of the Tomorrow. Now, under the tutelage of our fourth editor, Mr. Crunchy-Crunch (who is a Radish), the Tomorrow continues it’s mission to bring you the most up-to-date, reliable, real, totally non-fudged, absolutely inadmissibly concrete and legitimate news from all corners of the Universe.
Each issue is lovingly printed in Paris, onto high quality newsprint stolen from our rivals, hot off a sentient printing press who’s favorite TV series is Golden Girls. We hope the issues of our extremely legitimate newspaper brings hope and joy into the darkest recesses of your soul. Unless you are a creature of darkness, then that may kill you. Instead, for our darker readers, we hope this corrupts the very essence of the life forces you feed on, rendering your soul a hopeless pile of steaming hot goo that smells suspiciously of sunflower seeds and Werther’s Originals.
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